I’m a mess right now. I’ve been a terrible blogger but frankly, I’m just too exhausted to know what to write about. My store, Hayseed’s has been very busy…classes have been occupying what little free time I have and just being the go to person for everyone’s questions is a big job. I love it, but it’s LONG HARD WORK. As a result, my personal life is a total disaster. I’ve got dishes in the sink that have been there for over a week. My cats are bored and underloved. My garden is…well, it’s looked better. I’m actually considering paying someone to clean my house. I feel horrified by the notion that someone else may need to do the work for me that I actually take pride in doing for myself. Instead of planting tomatoes, I just tossed a bunch of fast-growing greens and buckwheat into all of the beds to buy myself some time and get some verdancy going in the backyard. I feel like a fraud.
I’m not happy about not being able to garden at home. I’ve been helping the gals at Domestic Construction with their garden (which is coming along very well), but it is not mine. I’ve put off doing much at Jewel Street because frankly, I am leaving and after the other landlord’s freakout (which has been resolved) I just don’t feel comfortable there anymore. I feel fragmented and without roots. I really look forward to August and my move to NJ. That lost sense of home has me feeling a little off-balance.
But, I digress. Business has been good. I’ve never felt more confident in my abilities. My bees are in really fine health. My chickens are happy and robust, though not laying much anymore. I’m surrounded by kind, appreciative, helpful people. I feel really fortunate to be in a place where I can say that I am an urban farmer for a living but I welcome change. I’m ready to be transplanted to a place where I can set my tap root deep.
I’ve been dreaming of dairy goats thanks to Jenna’s goat posts and I’m also thinking about the “B” word….babies. Who am I kidding though. I don’t have time for babies!