Believe it or not, I come to the admin page on my blog once a week and start the process of writing a post about the goings on at the farm. Halfway through a post, I get a bit scrambled and unsure about what I’m trying to say and so I give up and go wrestle with the dogs or make a coffee cake. I’ve had a mind for simple tasks with attainable goals lately, and that’s ok. I just can’t find the words to write about them right now.
I’ve been taking advantage of the lighter winter schedule to do things like clean, organize and de-clutter around the cottage and farm. To be honest, Neil has been spearheading this effort. After two years of not paying myself, I started this autumn very depressed and in need of mental regrouping. I’m fortunate to have such a loving and helpful partner as Neil. Seeing me in this state, he gave the whole process of improving our farm a good push, which may not have happened without him. Due to his work, I’ve now got a desk area for writing and planning, our paperwork is organized and has a place all it’s own. Our home feels functional, we have a nice greenhouse built for a more fool-proof start to spring seedling growing. This year is the year, I feel, that I will be able to pay myself a modest wage.
A beautiful Instagram cannot be my only reward. I gotta get paid.
I’m sitting here looking at all of the blog drafts I’ve started in the past year. Many of them started as a kernel of something that I hoped would grow into a fruitful idea. I still see the potential there, but as I learn more about this form of expression it’s become clear that it cannot be forced. It has to flow on it’s own. I’ll de-clutter the blog graveyard today, I think. I’ll leave some of the more promising ones in the hope that they will get fleshed out in time. But for now, I’ll just have to let the thoughts trickle out until the pipes begin to thaw. And that’s ok.
It’s a timely notion, don’t you think?