I tend to forget sometimes that the journey that I started on my own doesn’t really belong completely to me anymore. For the past 4 years, I’ve shared my home and dreams and aspirations with another person. As I gear up to make another move, I need to remind myself that I am not moving alone. It’s not MY move, it’s OUR move now and I need to make a better habit of painting a more accurate picture of what a huge part of my life this person is.
So here it goes…
This is Neil. He’s my best friend. We met at a Brooklyn bbq 4 years ago and have been dating ever since. For those of you who have had the pleasure of meeting him, you can confirm that he is one of the most gentle, empathetic and happy people ever. He smiles and the world seems brighter. When he’s hurt, you hurt. He makes me aspire to be like him. His kindness is infectious. Everyone loves him. He is very difficult to dislike in any capacity. He’s smart, he’s funny (if you like dad jokes) and he dances like a marionette. Can you tell that I love him? I really do.
Neil is very different from me in that he isn’t terribly obsessed with farm related stuff, but he likes me and he likes working with me so he contributes happily. At one point I thought his lack of enthusiasm over farming would be a deal breaker….would I have anything to talk about with someone who likes to ride bikes, noodling around with Arduino and listening to podcasts more than turning compost and pouring through seed catalogs?
The answer was a slow and sneaking “yes”. It wasn’t head over heels love at first sight. It took time and patience to work it out but I think we’ve both figured out our role in this relationship. He’s the partner I always wanted and I’m so pleased that he thinks it’s worth the risk to leave NYC and try something new. He’ll still keep his job in the city. I’ll get to farm. He’ll come home and milk the goats in the evening (::ahem::) and I’ll make supper and it will be good.
I can’t tell you how less scary having him with me makes all of this.