The time we live in is a time of tremendous emotional pressure for many folks and for many reasons. I’ve been able to exclude myself from much of the to do about the economy and politics because to some degree personal autonomy is at the kernel of what my life has become…or so I thought. Things are starting to change a little…I feel the tension creeping in from the sidelines. It’s pulling the invisible strings that tie me to the things I had forgotten I needed and it’s caused me to reevaluate my plans for the future. I hate strings. I just want to be free, you know?
We’ve had some upheaval here at the house. One of the neighbors seems to feel they have been treated with some inequity and as such, the house has been subject to weird outbursts, temper tantrums random acts of destruction targeted at me primarily. It’s awkward and unfortunate but part of the deal when you live with other people. You never know how they are going to react to interacting. Not everyone is equipped to deal.
This persons erratic behavior has caused me to start thinking about what it is that I want for the future. Do I want to continue contending with people that I cannot escape from? Do I actually enjoy trying to work around these limitations?
I can only continue to square peg/round hole it for so much longer before it starts to get ridiculous. The rabbits I think have really pushed me just slightly over the threshold of reason. I am thinking of selling off one of the does and keeping the breeding pair down to two and breeding them twice a year for my own personal use. It takes up less space, fewer cages, smells less, and requires less daily clean up from me. I’m culling most of Sal’s litter over the weekend. They could be bigger but they have got to go. I haven’t the space for more cages. They are going through feed like crazy. It is time. Much longer and the quality of their life will become an issue.
I want to have a farm where I needn’t worry about issues of space. That is my goal. I want to be a real homesteader and a real educator. I just don’t know how to do this here if I don’t live in this weird house in Brooklyn in this condensed impractical and sometimes strained way. It works if you are working a part-time job and making up the difference with homegrown food. This situation just…I don’t know, it isn’t working. I don’t know of any other landlord in NYC that would rent me an apartment with a sunny backyard and allow compost, a small chicken coop, rabbits for meat AND bees. That’s farm stuff. I need a damn farm. A REAL FARM. Give me an empty lot or a rooftop or a couple acres or SOMETHING. I need harmony or I need people to just let me do my own thing. It’s a lot to ask in this situation, but I don’t think it’s impossible in some other context.
Anyway, enough of that…as you can probably tell I’m feeling a bit weathered right now. Between house drama and teaching, plans to rework my website, finishing my manuscript and planning for a REALLY AMAZING AND FUN PROJECT I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT SO SOON, I’m just feeling low on energy. Send me energizing brainwaves. Please. I could use them.
On an upbeat note, I want to say that this weekend my mushroom class went really well. It was a really wonderful group and everyone left the 2 hour session beaming and excited about their new mushroom logs! Cannot wait for my next workshop! Thank you so much to all who attended and BIG UPS to Cafe Grumpy for hosting the class!